Category Archives: stalker

Life is a Balance

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Life is a Balance

Life is a balance between holding on and letting go.

Things have changed.

I used to walk into a room and wonder if the people there would like me.  Now, when I walk into a room, I wonder if I will like them.     The need for external validation is not important to me, at this point in life, and I don’t have to actually like someone for them to have value in my life, nor to have value in theirs.  If there is a job to be done, I simply do it.   I have optimized, categorized and am moving full speed ahead.  I am letting go of the negative and embracing those positive relationships that are good.

The relationships that remain are solid.

 I have learned to let go of the people and things that do not serve my best interests…the ones that hurt and deceive me ….and this has really helped me to stay focused and to do  good work.  This has freed up a tremendous amount of emotional and physical energy.   It can be difficult when one lets go of family members or of  people who were once close friends…..but as things turn out, letting go of those with whom your values, ethics, morals and beliefs do not align, can help propel you forward and free you to do what you are best suited to do in life.

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The people that *really* matter to me are functionally in my life, although I am forced to use that  term  (“functionally”)  loosely when referring to one significant person.  That is an unfortunate situation that I cannot talk about here.

The solution was simple.  I let go of the drama and embraced all of the many good things that I hold so close to my heart and things have never been better.  I now sing about my happiness to other audiences and I go to bed every night with a smile on my face, knowing that I am loved.                                   

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My husband has returned to Portland, full time, from the Bay Area and we have immersed ourselves into a plethora of creativity.  His health is much better than it was, even a year ago.  He attributes this to our being together so much of the time now.  I am watchful over is health, feed him good, home-cooked food and make sure he gets lots of exercise.  He seems so happy, and I’m glad he is home. He is writing plays and working with a partner on creating original musical scores for his plays.  I have the biggest art commission of my life,  am working on my novel every day.  I have successfully completed the composition of two country and western songs that will soon be ready to shop.  I  and am putting a new business together and am also spending lots of time with Ingrid in these last days before she is immersed into French school.  I am thoroughly enjoying the wonderful city where we live.  John and I are reorganizing our home and getting rid of possessions that we no longer need.  Everything is about moving ahead and being happy.

Everything that we are doing,  together and individually, can be either directly or indirectly attributed to making the best choices about letting go of the dead weight of the crazies.  I cannot believe I ever hesitated.

Life is so uncomplicated now.  Why didn’t I make these decisions years ago?

Lavender for Migranes

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Lavender has been studied recently for several purposes including treatment of mood and anxiety disorders, as well as a number of other things. Its analgesic effect, however, its painkiller effect, is one of the widely studied properties. Surprising, then, that there hasn’t apparently been a single documented clinical trial to study lavender for the treatment of migraine headaches that affects tens of millions of Americans every year. Until now: “Lavender Essential Oil in the Treatment of Migraine Headache: A Placebo-Controlled Clinical Trial.”

Migraine sufferers were asked to—at the early signs of headache—rub 2–3 drops of the lavender essential oil onto their upper lip and inhale its vapor for a 15-min period of time and score the severity of their headache for the next two hours. In the control group they did the same thing except they used drops of basically unscented liquid wax. Neither group was allowed to use any painkillers. In the lavender group 74% of patients had an improvement in their symptoms, significantly better than placebo. Though in the study lavender wasn’t directly compared to more conventional treatments, lavender appears to stack up pretty well compared to typical drugs. Lavender helped about three quarters of the time, high dose Tylenol only works about half the time, and Ibuprofen 57% of the time. The #1 prescription drug, generic imitrex, is effective 59% of the time, and then the hardcore treatment they use in emergency rooms where they inject you under the skin, 70%. All of these work better than the original migraine therapy, known as trepanning, where doctors drilled a hole in your head to let the evil spirits escape.

Conclusion: The present study suggests that inhalation of lavender essential oil may be an effective and safe treatment modality in acute management of migraine headaches.

You can buy pharmaceutical grade lavender for $21 HERE.

Influence, Persuasion, Manipulation, Coercion – FOUR modes of action

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Influence, Persuasion, Manipulation, Coercion – FOUR modes of action

 

A client hired me to write about this topic, and as I investigated, I decided that the topic was pretty interesting, so I’ll post the gist of my article here:

Each day, people try to influence others. I do it.  You do it.  Everyone does. Could be about something small.  Could be about something major.

For instance, I spend a good deal of time on this blog talking about the merits of healthful eating.  It doesn’t really matter to me, with any level of significance,  what anyone else eats, because that simply  isn’t my business….but on some level by writing about healthful eating I suppose I am probably trying to influence or convince you, the reader, to choose better eating habits so that you, too, can enjoy the many benefits of doing so.  Trying to influence or persuade others is a natural thing to do.

 

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There are numerous ways of persuading another person to do, think or feel something.  It is my opinion  that positive influence is the most effective and best way to do that.

Let’s break this down into understandable terms and take a look at some of the choices:

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Influence is simply the power to cause changes without directly forcing them to happen: a person or thing that affects someone or something in an important way.  I wish to positively influence others.

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The operative point here is use of the term, “without directly forcing them to happen.”  I, personally, believe that influence and persuasion are fairly interchangeable.

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Persuasion is a voluntary choice on the part of the person being persuaded.  While influence and persuasion can be used in negative ways, they are inherently the more positive of all of the ways of convincing someone else to do something, because neither tactic involves forcing someone to do something against his or her will.

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Now, let’s talk about the nasty cousins of influence: manipulation and coercion. Usually, when people have a negative reaction to the word influence, they are actually conjuring images and ideas about these words:

manipulation

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Manipulation is unfortunately and incorrectly equated with influence. It’s a bad thing, in my opinion.   I guess it’s understandable that people equate it incorrectly with influence, since there really is only one small difference between the two .  Manipulation occurs when someone exerts shrewd or devious influence especially for one’s own advantage.  1coerce

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The act of coercion is to make (someone) DO something by using force or threats  or  to GET (something) by using force or threats.

Coercion is probably the ugliest of the lot. It’s pretty much a do-whatever-it-takes approach. Brainwashing and torture fall under the heading of coercion, as do threats, screaming, hitting….Know what I mean?

How does coercion work?

The tactics of psychological coercion often involve anxiety and stress, and fall into seven main categories.

1. Restrictive techniques or exhaustive, exact repetition of demands.

2. Attempted establishment of control over the victim’s social environment, time, and sources of social support by creating social isolation; removing contact with family or friends who promote self-esteem, independence, positivity, and sense of well-being. Economic controls may contribute.

3. Rejection of alternate information and separate opinions. Rules exist about permissible topics to discuss. Communication is highly controlled.

4. Forcing the victim to re-evaluate the most central aspects of his or her experience of self and prior conduct in negative ways. The victim is made to feel like a “bad” person. Efforts are designed to destabilize and undermine the subject’s basic consciousness, reality awareness, world view, emotional control and defense mechanisms. The subject questions, doubts, and reinterprets his or her life and adopts a new “reality.”

5. Creating a sense of powerlessness by subjecting the victim to intense and frequently confusing, conflicting actions and situations which undermine the victim’s self-confidence and judgment.

6. Creating strong, aversive, emotional arousals in the subject by reactions such as intense humiliation, loss of privilege, social isolation, social status changes, intense guilt, anxiety, and manipulation.

7. Intimidation of the victim by implied power, size, voice amplitude, or implied threat. Psychological coercion can be applied to such a degree that the victim’s capacity to make informed or free choices becomes inhibited. The victim becomes unable to make the normal, wise or balanced decisions which they most likely or normally would have made, had they not been manipulated. The cumulative effect of psychological coercion can be an even more effective form of undue influence than pain, torture, drugs or the use of physical force or threats.

Coercive psychological systems violate the most fundamental concepts of basic human rights.  They imply ownership of one person or group by another.  They violate rights of individuals that are guaranteed by many declarations of principle worldwide.  An interesting fact, however…..

Often, the victims of coercion will rebel against the person or entity using the coercion and may give the impression that they are following that person’s orders, when, in reality, the opposite is true.  Bullies with a mentality low enough to attempt coercion, however, are clearly too stupid to realize this.

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A Waltz on the Forensics Dance Floor

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How many of you love television programs that have to do with crime solving?  Shows such as CSI, Dateline and others that entail looking inside the heads of criminals are quite interesting.  They tend to hook their audiences by providing clues that audience members can easily fit together to solve the crimes from home.  When I signed up for a Forensic Psychology class this term, I thought this was what I would be doing.  In reality, crime solving is only a tiny aspect of being a forensic psychologist.  The discipline is so much more than these highly publicized sensational aspects.  The rest involves a fusion of psychology and technical law that can easily confuse even the most astute student.

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A lot of people equate forensic psychology with forensic science or law enforcement.  They tend to think that the forensic psychologist arrives at a crime scene, surveys the area and eventually identifies a number of psychological clues that can help catch the bad guy.  These things that you see on TV easily lead to a number of incorrect conclusions about what Forensic Psychology is. In fact, psychologists are rarely called upon to act in this capacity at all.

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Simply stated, Forensic Psychology refers to any application of psychology to the legal system. Most often it is clinical psychology, but not always.   There are different ethical standards regarding confidentiality and other issues that apply in the forensics field, as opposed to therapeutic psychology work, and forensic psychologists take completely different approaches to their clients than therapeutic psychologists do.  Some might even argue that the intersection between psychology and the law is more like a collision than a fusion.

The work that I am currently conducting is a case analysis of a Muslim immigrant who was diagnosed as paranoid schizophrenic.  He lived on the streets and was arrested and jailed for trespassing.  While in jail, he was given anti-psychotic medication for his mental illness.  However, upon his release back into the streets, he discontinued taking the medication.  He began to suffer visual and audio hallucinations and to believe that Nazi youth were coming to assassinate  him.  One night, as he was asleep on a park bench, he was, indeed, attacked by a gang of hoodlums.  They beat him, kicked him and left him lying on the ground, but he was not seriously injured.  After they left, the man searched until he found a pipe which he stashed in the shadows for his own protection.

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The next morning, the man saw two young teenaged boys approaching from the park’s pathway.  They were on their way to a music lesson.

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Thinking they were the youths who had attacked him the night before, and believing they had returned to kill him, he sneaked up behind them and began to wield the pipe wildly.  He struck the elder boy in the head knocking him to the ground before he began to repeatedly beat the younger brother.  The elder brother was able to escape and seek assistance.  When the police arrived, the man had bludgeoned the younger brother to death and was continuing to beat his lifeless body as he lay on the ground.  The man went completely limp when he was apprehended by the police and did not resist arrest.

The man was evaluated, deemed incompetent to be tried and committed to a mental health care facility where he underwent pharmaceutical therapy for the paranoid schizophrenia.  After 6 months of treatment, he was reevaluated and deemed competent to stand trial.   He was tried and convicted of capital murder.  It is my job to determine whether or not he qualifies for and should get the death penalty.

This brings up countless ethical issues with me.  I am an avid opponent of the death penalty for many reasons.  First, it is unfair.  Ethnic minorities are more often convicted and sentenced to death for the same crimes when non-minorities receive lesser sentences.  It costs more to execute a prisoner than to give one life in prison.  Death of the criminal does not bring back the victim.  There are just too many reasons to say, in full, why I oppose it on legal and ethical grounds.  However, my personal opinions do not count in this instance.  Only my professional ones do.

I have to consider what the prisoner needs, in terms of his rights being observed.  I have to consider what the state needs, in terms of keeping the streets safe, and I have to consider what the court needs, in terms of arriving at a just solution.  It is a lot to think about, and there are so many laws and legal loopholes and psychological issues and ethical standards to consider that it really makes my head swim!

I do not believe I will pursue a career in Forensic Psychology…..but this is an interesting class, nonetheless.

Last Update of the Year

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Last Update of the Year

I have been trying to make it over here to do an update before the end of the year, but this has been my first opportunity to do so.   First, let me thank my 590  wonderful subscribers and other readers for your continued support.  I appreciate each and every one of you and hope you have gained something from being a part of my life through this blog.   I wish each of you a happy and prosperous 2015.

As I approach the end of 2014, I have made some big changes in my life.  First, I have eliminated some unhealthy familial relationships that were dragging me down,  and have grown closer to other family members.  Both moves proved to be freeing and healing.

I have begun a regular meditation and yoga practice.  I am making art again.  I still have a four point in grad school and am slated to graduate this summer.   As for friendships….every single friendship that I had at the end of last year is still in place.  One, in particular, is stronger than ever, and I feel so blessed because of this. (4).

r     Rene Best musician

Life here has been a December whirlwind!  I took a couple of fun little trips…some that I can talk about, and some that I can’t.  However, my break from school proved to be no break at all.  I had a difficult midterm that took an entire day to complete, two discussion papers to write, a paper on women in leadership roles and a psychometric analysis of a psychological testing instrument used to determine levels of creativity.  Eeeee!  I still have two papers left to write before the fourth, but I’m fairly certain I will be able to complete them on time.  I have also been finishing up a lot of work projects that I had to finish by tonight.  Those are completed and sent to my editors, so I feel great about that.

The good news is that John is home, and we have been having the best time!  We took Ingrid Christmas shopping and to Peacock lane.

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We spent a quiet Christmas together at home, then went to our daughter’s house for gift exchange and a delicious dinner.  My son in law, who makes THESE  gorgeous knifes and teaches black smithing,  hand forged an incredible cheese knife for me. I am so proud of it!  (I love handmade gifts best of all!)   For the handle, he used exotic wood that had some naturally-formed cracks in it.  He ground up turquoise, suspended it in resin and filled the cracks with it.  The picture does not do it justice.  This is a gorgeous knife! He also hand carved a beautiful wooden spoon for me and gave them both to me in a nice wooden holder.  So talented, he is! Thanks, Nate!

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John wanted to do something extra special this year, so surprised me with a trip to Sun Mountain Lodge   up in the beautiful Cascades. What an incredible trip! It was cozy and romantic, stunningly beautiful and gave us the opportunity to get caught up after spending a long time apart.  We loved it there and want to go back in the spring.

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Met some friends there, and were able to parlay the journey into a side trip Seattle where our granddaughter, Maya, is visiting from the East Coast.  We were absolutely thrilled to learn that she plans to return to the Pacific NW.  We have missed her in the 5 months she has been gone!

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We stayed with our darling friends, Sheryl and Dylan and really enjoyed the company.  Sheryl is like family to us.  It was high quality, beautiful family time.  We visited and took Ings to the park.  We went out for dinner.  We went to an incredible display of Christmas lights.  It was so much fun.  I feel so happy just thinking about it.

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Much, much more has happened, but I haven’t the time to write about it all.  Tonight, we are going to join our friends, Toni and Peter, as we did last year, for dinner, drinks and dancing.  We’ll start the evening off at a little wine bar known as “Arrivederci” and then meet other friends in another location to ring in the New Year together.  There won’t be any redneck bars and plastic cups in the mix for this year,  but as my friend pointed out, I’ve always been more of a crystal stemware type anyway, so it all works out. 🙂  I know I’m loved.  I’m happy.

I’m lucky….and I know it.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Be safe and have fun!

Doctors Without Borders Auction Preview!

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https://www.biddingforgood.com/auction/auctionhome.action?auctionId=208357702  <——-click here!

Here is your chance to preview all 141 STUNNING pieces of mosaic art created by artists from all over the world in the Doctor’s Without Border’s Charity Auction that will be coming up in November.  There are SO many beautiful choices!  Proceeds go toward a most excellent cause, so make your selections and get ready to place your bids!  dwb mosaic 2014Four René

by Stacy Alexander

© Stacy Alexander – 2014 – All Rights Reserved

Don’t Shoot the Messenger! – The Psychological Purpose for Denial

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Are any of you familiar with the Tom Stoppard absurdist  play, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead?   It is about how two servants (that had minor roles in Shakespeare’s Hamlet)  were so naive that they walked into a situation that ended them, just because they delivered a message that someone didn’t want to hear.

Ring a bell?

Have you ever known anyone that would attack the messenger rather than face news that he or she didn’t want to hear?

A prime example is that of a couple of friends of mine.  He cheats. He has ALWAYS cheated….and even though she knows it,  rather than face the reality of it, the wife (my friend) will blame the women with whom he cheats, hanging on to the marriage as though her life depended on it.

In her eyes, the WOMEN are “bad” because she is sickly emotionally dependent on her husband.  He has always been disloyal to her behind her back, and he continues to be to this day.  She KNOWS about it, yet continues to cling .  She will get drunk, pick up the phone and call up the women that he cheats with, claiming that he doesn’t love them….that he is “afraid of” them…or that he has said terrible things about them.  The women sort of roll their eyes, because he has already warned them that my friend is crazy and to expect her to call.  He warns them that she will demand a 3-way phone call and insists that they ignore the request.  This is how smooth an operator he is….and how he convinces his wife that the women are lying.

The person that is actually telling the lies and committing the cheating continues along these lines indefinitely while the person that speaks out about it gets labeled the “bad one”…the “slut”…”evil”… because the recipient of the news has dependency issues that keep her in the relationship regardless of how unhappy he or she is.  She demands he throw out anything the lover has given him….which, of course, he doesn’t really do.   She demands he block her from his telephone….which, of course, he doesn’t do either.  He simply gets a dedicated phone for the purpose of calling the lover more than ever. In other words, my friend spends all of her energy trying to make misidentified “problem” go away.  She believes that if she can make the other woman “vanish” her husband will be faithful.

Ain’t gonna happen.

My friend’s husband has been unfaithful to her repeatedly.  This man is CONSTANTLY  “trolling for women” and telling them that he and his wife are on the skids.   Oh, the lies!

This poor woman has plans to spend the rest of her life with this man and she refuses to embrace the truth no matter how many times she comes face to face with it.

When well-meaning friends have tried to warn her,  she will either get mad at them for having delivered the message, or she will attack and belittle the women with whom her husband entangles himself…but she will NEVER walk away from the relationship, because she is too insecure.  She makes excuses for her husband every single time.  Does he stop cheating on her?  No.  Does she vilify the women that he cheats on her with?                           René Best musician

Yup.  Every.  single. time.

It is always THEIR fault (the fault of the other women)  and never the fault of the cheating husband.  They want him.  They throw themselves at him.  They stalk him.  He can’t beat them off with a stick!  And when caught, he declares that these other women are fat…or ugly…or crazy….and the wife falls for it every single time.

cageRene Best musician       Rene Best guitarist

Meanwhile, the other women that this man flirts with, sleeps with and swears his undying love for,  are all lead to believe that they are the special ones….that the marriage is so bad that it excuses his cheating behavior.

 The wife denies and denies it and cooks up all kinds of unsavory stories about the WOMEN….but not about the man that is stirring the pot!  She will upload photos of herself and her husband in strained, deliberately posed positions that are intended to convey their “happiness” together…but the husband instantly dispels this theory.  “She MADE me pose in that picture!  I didn’t want to do it.  She was just trying to piss you off…..”  on …and on…and on….

This action takes place because of her own dependency issues. She is desperate to convince the world…the same world that knows how miserable they are…how “happy” they are, completely ignoring the fact that he has ruthlessly cut her down to virtually everyone that knows him.   She would rather have a man that she KNOWS in her heart, is cheating, than not have a man at all.  So she remains  in total denial….even when these women occasionally reach out to try to help her.    Big mistake. Huge.


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 Is there an apple in the picture below?  I don’t think so…yet according to some people, it may very well be one…because they WANT to believe it is an apple, whether it is or not!  How sad is that?   Some people do not base anything on actual reality.  They base everything on their insecurities and needs….(…not that anyone NEEDS to be with unfaithful men. )

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Denial is an internally-generated defense mechanism that goes into action when someone is not able to face reality.    It is the refusal to admit or to even recognize that an event such as an affair (or other traumatic event)  has occurred or is currently going on.   We most often hear about denial as it relates to  alcoholics or drug addicts.   However, these are not the only times when denial kicks in.  People that  are traumatized or who  fear trauma will go into denial rather than even see the truth.    In many cases, there might be overwhelming evidence that something is true, yet the person will continue to deny its existence or truth because it is too uncomfortable to face.   Ask how things are going, and they might respond with, “GREAT!!!”  and a big, happy smile.     Why does this happen?

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Denial  protects one’s ego from things and events with which the individual cannot cope.  While this may save that person from anxiety or pain, being in denial  requires a huge investment of psychic energy. Because of this, other defenses are also used to keep these unacceptable feelings from consciousness.  One of these defense mechanisms is displacement.

Have ever had a really bad day and then gone home and taken out your frustration on someone else?  This is displacement.  Displacement involves taking out our frustrations, feelings, and impulses on people or objects that are less threatening.   This, too, can result in the wrong person getting the blame.   In the case of my friend, her husband is clearly the one that is doing something wrong, but my friend, instead, blames the other women….or blames her ex husband, or blames her upbringing, her parents, her boss….ANYONE AND ANYTHING other than her husband….because if she admitted that he was unfaithful, there would be no reason to justify her staying with him….and she is very insecure.  She needs a man, even one that cheats on her, to create the delusion that her life is something that it isn’t.  Convincing people on the outside that things are, “GREAT!!” is her top priority.

The type of denial that my friend has goes far beyond grace and forgiveness and into the realm of stupidity.  I guess that was unkind.  She is not stupid.  She needs help, actually….but a lot of people just view her as stupid, because THEY can see what is going on, even if she does adamantly deny it.  A defense mechanism that K. needs to develop is sublimation.

ImageSublimation allows people to act out unacceptable impulses by converting them into more socially acceptable forms of behavior. For instance, when K. experiences the uncontrollable rage that causes her to attack the messenger or, worse yet, to attack the women with which her husband carries on, she might, instead, take up gardening or join a dance group to vent her frustration.  I agree with Sigmund Freud, who  believed that sublimation is a sign of maturity that allows us to function normally in socially acceptable ways.   Going on the attack against the wrong people?   That just sucks.   Living in denial of my friend’s husband’s infidelities only makes my friend appear pathetic.  EVERYONE knows that he cheats….and she does, too, at some level, yet she continues to skirt the issue.  Living in denial is a debilitating mental illness.  It makes the person in denial look mad as a hatter while everyone else comes out smelling like a rose.

 

Lesson For the Day

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Protected: She Ain’t No “Lady” (thank goodness)

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Protected: She Ain’t No “Lady” (thank goodness)

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I am laughing.

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Ha. Ha. Ha.  Laughter is good for you! 

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Try it!  Laughter is the best, most  joyful music on earth!  Regardless of what might be “wrong” in your life, you’ll feel a lot better if you can just find something to laugh about!   Laughter is medicine.

Four René

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This is my contribution to the Doctors Without Borders Auction for 2014.  I will post details when they are available.  I call this piece, “Four René,”named after my best friend.  I tried to create a piece that would convey the happiness that his friendship brings to me, so I made this one as bright and sunny as possible.   It was the best I could do, considering I didn’t have all of my materials available to me at the time.

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FOUR RENE

10″ x 10″

Glass, ceramic tile, vintage jewelry on wedi board with wooden frame

by Stacy Alexander

2014

Native American: As in other cultures, ceremonies and ritual acts are repeated in fours. The Native Amercican cultures have used the number 4 most frequently as in the four cardinal directions. The four winds are depicted by the symbol of the cross and by the symbol of the swastika. The swastika as some misbelieve was not created by Hitler. It was instead borrowed from the Native American and occult beliefs of which Hitler had great interests. Hitler derived his “insanity” of power from his misdirected interpretation and use of metaphysical principles. He used knowledge that his human consciousness couldn’t possibly understand and the use of this knowledge for personal gain is part of the imbalance that creates the chaos and karma.

Buddhism: The Damba Tree of Life has four limbs and from its roots four sacred streams of Paradise that represent the the four boundless wishes of compassion, affection, love impartiality. It also represents the four directions of the heart as well.

Chinese Buddism: there are four celestial guardians of cardinal points are Mo-li Ch’ing, the East, with the jade ring and spear; Virupaksha, the West, the Far-gazer, with the four-stringed quitar; Virudhaka, the South, with the umbrella of choas and darkness and earthquakes; Vaisravenna, the North, with the whips, leopard-skin bag, snake and pearl.

Chinese: Four is the number of the Earth, symbolized by the square. There are four streams of immortality. Four is even an number. It is Yin in polarity.

Christian: Four is the number representing the body, with three representing the soul. Again we see the theme of the four rivers in Paradise. There are four Gospels, Evangelists, chef arch-angels, chef-devils, four Fathers of the Church, Great Prophets. There are four cardinal virtues–prudence, fortitude, justice, temperance. The are four winds from which the One Spirit is said to come. There are four horsemen of the Apocalypse.

Revelation: There four angels standing at the four corners of the Earth, holding back the four winds of the earth (Rev 7:1). The great multitude from every nation, tribe, people and language (four-fold description) – Rev 5:9 11:9 13:7 14:6 the four-fold description indicates that these people come from all over the earth.

Egyptian: Four is the sacred number of Time, measurement of the sun. Four pillars support the vault of heaven. There are four canopic jars placed around the dead at the four corners guarded by the four sons of Horus who are associated with the cardinal points. In the Hermetic it is the divine quaternity. It represents God.

Gnostic: belief in Barbelo, the Four-ness of God.

Greek: Four is the sacred number of Hermes.

Hebrew: Four represents measuring; beneficence; intelligence. In the Kabbalah four is memory; four represents the four worlds of the Kabbalah.It also represents the four directions of space and the four levels of the hierarchical organism of the Torah.

Hindu: Four is Totality; plenitude; perfection. Brahma, the Creator is four faced. The temple is based on the four sides of the square, symbolizing order and finality. There are four tattvas the four bodies bodies of human and kingdoms of nature which are animal, vegetable, mineral, mind. There are four yugas. Four is the winning throw of the dice. There are four castes and pairs of opposites.

Islamic: tradition the four terms of the quaternary are the Principle which is Creator; Universal Spirit; Universal Soul; and the primordial matter. These correspond to the four worlds of Kabbalism. There are four angelic beings and four houses of death. There are four levels to the Bardo.

Mayan culture four giants support the celestial roof. Four is seen as the number of support .

Pythagorean: Four is Perfection; harmonious proportion; justice; the earth. Four is the number of the Pythagorean oath. Four and ten are divinities. The Tetraktys 1+2+3+4=10.

Scandinavian: there are four rivers of milk flowing in Asgard.

Sumero-Semitic: Four astral gods are indentified with the four cardinal points.

Teutonic: four dwarfs support the world.

Taoist: There are four celestial guardians, Li, with the pagoda; Ma, with the sword; Cho with two swords; Wen with a spiked club.

Reconciliation Over Revenge.

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Reconciliation Over Revenge.

The illustration above exemplifies the need for peace on a global level…but with all things global, change begins with the individual.

Where does one begin to affect reconciliation, peace and understanding on a personal level?

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When I feel violated I can usually just blow it off.  After all, I have a good life and much for which I am thankful.  I’m pretty easy going and definitely forgiving. It can be difficult to simply let go…but I’m pretty good at doing that.

Peace begins in one’s own heart, right?  Who wants or needs trouble?  Who wants or needs drama?

Well, it seems that some people thrive on it.

Before I start sounding as though  I think I am morally superior to anyone else, I must say that just like everyone else, I have buttons that can be pushed, and when they are pushed, I can come out swinging.   I make a pretty good sparring partner when I set my mind to it….but why waste the energy getting dragged into some trashy lower-life situation?

 

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Under certain circumstances revenge sounds sweet, but it never is…Not really….not on a personal level and not on a global one.  It is a vexation to the spirit.

However, what does one do when the other person does not stop?

Simply let it go.

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I find this decision the universal solution.

The best thing to do when someone is in your face is to simply move forward.  Try to affect good in the world.  Reach out in peace and in the spirit of love and try to understand the other person’s  perspective.  Be better than anyone  that is  trying to hurt or anger you.  Reach out in love.

This applies to every person on every level.  Be good.  Be kind.  BE BETTER. Send love.

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Take pity on those that malign you, for they do so from issues that have nothing to do with you.   Try to view the world from their perspectives in order to better understand what they might be experiencing.  Be better.  Add no fuel to the smoke and simply let the negative feelings fall away.

After all…they are only smoke.

“Therefore they shall be as the morning cloud and as the early dew that passeth away, as the chaff that is driven with the whirlwind out of the floor, and as the smoke out of the chimney.”

Tracking, Counters, Software, Stealth…..

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Today, I am officially tracker-free on this blog.   I used to spend a great deal of time and energy checking to see who was reading it and that developed into a nasty, non-productive occupation of my time.  This blog isn’t even “moneytized”  like some of my other blogs, so why bother?   I have released the bonds that held me here longer than I should have been, by removing all counters, tracking software and other devices used for that purpose.  I will, instead, apply that energy toward making more money, more art and other more constructive endeavors.  Not checking has already saved me about an hour this morning.  It is working already.                      Rene Best musician

Control when it backfires.

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Best thought for the day?    There are times when attempts to  control others simply backfire….and the controlling person gets the exact opposite of what he or she tries to control…..whether he or she is aware of   it or not. _

You know, I cannot look at Mr. Cash here, especially when he’s smiling, and not think of my maternal grandmother.   I always thought they looked a lot alike.   She was a fan of Tommy Cash and the Tomcats.  Makes me smile to think about it.     Not much slipped by Addie….or so she thought.  A lot went on behind her back that she didn’t know about…and that is exactly how it is with controlling people.  They do not allow others to be their authentic selves.

I loved Johnny Cash.  Still love him, actually.  Not only was he the original punk rocker, he could say anything with just a look.   Love his music.  Love who he was.   I heard him interviewed once, years and years ago, when he made a comment about how controlling people are usually out of control themselves….and it’s true.  He talked about how, in his youth, someone tried to control him, and on the surface, that person thought she was successful, not  knowing  that  Johnny was  going  behind  her  back  and  doing  exactly  what  she  didn’t  want  him  to  do.

Funny how that works.

Wow! Not even 8 a.m. in Texas …

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Day #23 – Movement

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Photo a day – June

Day #23 – Movement

Stacy Alexander

©2012