Monthly Archives: September 2018

Busy September

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September has proven to be one of the busiest months I’ve had in a long time.  Then again, I say that about virtually every month.  As I grow older, I really expected things to slow down rather than speed up, but that has not been the case.

(Charlie, I know I owe you a phone call.  I haven’t forgotten, and will call as soon as I can. #CharlieZero.)

Work has been overwhelming.  I’ve had three major work projects going on.  One has been professional fact checking that keeps me up late into the night.  The other is a research job that I’ve signed a NDA about, so can’t discuss, and the other one, of course, is the never ending Chinese catalog that Ive worked on for the past 3 years.

I have also been making art like a fiend, and have three pieces going into a gallery that I’ve always wanted to show in.  They are all Frida Kahlo pieces for a Day of the Dead Show.  I’ll write more about them at a later date.

Our granddaughter, Maya, visited recently, and spent a few days with us.  It was great to see her and to get caught up. Her life is as busy as mine, so our communications aren’t as strong as they could be, but the love is definitely still there.

John and I recently worked a wine festival in West Linn, just for the fun of it.  Had such a good time.  We were invited to sign up by Rae Gordon, a local blues singer with whom I’ve recently become friends.

I’ve been taking long walks and enjoying the incredibly beautiful, mild weather we’ve been having here in Portland.  This is such a beautiful city.  I couldn’t be happier here. I laugh at my stalker’s efforts to disparage it.

And on that note, I’ll sign off for now.  Ciao~  See you in the big city.

 

Recreating Memories

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When my children were young, we had a beautiful 6 bedroom Cape Cod vacation home on a huge lake, at the edge of the woods in Maine.  It was an old home that we remodeled, one with hand-hewn beams, and a big concert grand piano sitting before a picture window that overlooked the lake.

I would awaken before anyone else each moring, and quietly sip my coffee as I watched the deer playing in the valley between us and the lake. There was always mist on the ground, swirly clouds of it, just before the sun came up fully.  It was a magical view.

When the sun had risen, I would go out back and pick fresh raspberries or blueberries, when they were available, and would wake everyone up with the scintillating aroma of fresh berry muffins.  When berries weren’t available, I would bake cinnamon or fresh vanilla ones, or sometimes, lemon poppyseed ones.  Each of my children, at one time or another, has recalled the feelings of walking up to those scents, and how, to this day, smelling any of them when they pass a bakery evokes memories of the wonderful times we had there sailing, hiking, roaming the woods, canoeing, and visiting with our copious Italian family around bondfires at night, or with the friends who would fly out from Texas to join us.

I thought about that this morning as I baked fresh muffins for John and for Maya.  I was with Steve, my now-deceased former husband, back then, and Maya wasn’t born yet….so today, I spent an extra hour recreating my own memories for them.  Albeit urban and not rural, their memories of this morning will mean awakening to the smell of fresh blueberry muffins. The berries are from the Farmer’s Market, and not the back yard, and there are no woods nor lake within site, but still, this will be a happy memory for them.

Today marks the last day Maya will be with us for awhile.  She is in nursing school in Seattle, and is working full time, so she doesn’t get to visit often.  However, when she wakes up, she will smell the muffins before she gets out of bed.  Same thing for John.  They will both remember how beautiful this day is in gorgeous Portland, where the temperatures are not expected to rise over 74 degrees. They will awaken to the music of The Mastersons, and the hot muffins and delicious coffee, and a hearty breakfast, and it will be a good memory for them, because they will always remember how much I love them.

That’s how things roll around here. We have such a good life.  Simple plesures are the best.

Ignoring My Stalker

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Today marks the third anniversary of letting go of the emotional hold that my stalker had on me.  I simply turned my back and walked away and didn’t lose a thing, except a silly mosquito buzzing around my head.  Life is so much sweeter now.

Ignoring the stalker has made more room in my emotional headspace, so I no longer fear opening my door to find the stalker standing there with a gun.  I was told that it was a very real possibility for a long time.  Now, I feel zero fear, because I have taken away her power to affect me.

This decision ….the one to start ignoring her, was so powerful….so empowering and liberating that I can barely even describe its emotional impact.  She has continued her nonsense on a myriad of levels. I have simply ignored it.  This feels much better…..and nothing else has changed.  Nothing.

This video explains my feelings perfectly.  It’s called, “Forgive Assholes – Have a Little Faith.”