A week ago, someone I have known and loved for decades, suffered a major heart attack in Europe where he lived. Today, the doctors were going to remove him from life support, and I haven’t heard any news yet….but I am suffering already, from a profound loss. My daughter is also, as the two of us were very close to him. He was my ex husband. I had heard from him only days before the attack. He sounded cheerful and friendly. He was an upbeat kind of guy.
My husband today, has been so supportive and understanding of my pain. I am counting my blessings that he is in my life now, but I will miss Steve. Ours was an exciting life together. He was a brilliant petroleum geologist. We traveled here and there together, went on lots of hikes and explored the world in the most intimate of ways. He knew a lot about things…about the earth, history, how things work. He was such an interesting guy, really into biking, and, in fact, in his last email to me, that is what he talked about.
Today, I am finding comfort in the small things that life has to offer during sobering times such as these. A couple of Steve’s family members reached out to me and we have reconnected, which is a blessing. I have been watching the little hummingbird outside my window, so frail and tiny, but powerfully convincing of the gratitude that I feel for its being there in its beautiful spender during this sad time.
I am grateful for my wonderful husband, for my best friend, for my daughter and my grandchildren. I have so much to be thankful for, and today especially, I am mindful of the temporary nature of our time here on the earth. In the words of one of Steve’s Aunts who contacted me yesterday, “Put your arms around the people you love and hold them tight. Hold on to your family….” and that is what I shall do. The family that I have in my life is the best one could possibly hope for.
I am grateful for them…..and for my life today.