Chasing Unicorns

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Are you a unicorn chaser?  Do you have your eye set on someone that is not interested in you?  That’s too bad….because being in a one-sided relationship cannot be very gratifying.  I can’t imagine having to walk through my life “performing” for someone else so they will love me more.   If it doesn’t come naturally, I don’t want it.  When you stop chasing the wrong things, you allow the opportunity for the RIGHT things to come into your life.  You should not have to change who you are for any other person.

One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that’s trying to make you like everyone else.  Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be younger, but they will never be you.  You have your own unique qualities.  Don’t change so people will like you.  Be yourself and the right person will be the one that appreciates those qualities fully, not someone to whom you have to defend yourself.

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If someone wants you in their life, he or she will make room for you.   You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot. My advice?   Never, ever insinuate yourself onto someone who continuously overlooks your worth.  I have never understood the concept of chasing after someone that does not want to be in your life.  If the other person is ready to move on or does not cherish you enough to even be faithful to you (without some kind of mutual agreement) ….then it’s time to move on!

chased

After all, what is the point?  How degrading it must feel to know that the person you’re with is only with you because you’re crazy, or because you’ve issued an ultimatum or because you’re vulnerable or because you’ve made some kind of threat. That is not love!  It is intimidation.

How awful it must feel to wake in the morning with the knowledge that you are a burden to someone else, that his or her heart is elsewhere.  I sure wouldn’t want to live that way.  It isn’t healthy…..not for you….and certainly not for the other person.

Why would anyone even *want* to be in a situation such as that?  Even when they “win” and the person stays with them, they are losers.  They can never feel secure about their relationships, and even upon those occasions when they feel the love is reciprocated, it doesn’t last.  There is always that next hurdle to cross, that emotional mountain to climb, that unrelenting insecurity in the pit of the stomach.  Why do people put themselves through it?

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I want to know who I am in a relationship, and I do.  I don’t want to have to suffer the indignity of chasing after someone that is not naturally attracted to or that does not want to be in a relationship with me….and if things don’t work out, I am happy to simply turn away and exit with a smile on my face.  I will never be one of those “clingers” that people shake their heads about.   If someone doesn’t love me, I bow out.  No questions asked.  Fortunately, I am secure in all of my relationships.

I’m very lucky  that way.

4 responses »

  1. My life turned around when I really “got” that relationships don’t work when one loves more than the other. Now I’m married to my true love. Being with her makes me a better person because I want to be my best for her. She only asked me to never change.

    Thanks for the post! -Valerie

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