Tough times

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Last week was tough, both personally and academically.  The personal issues revolve around a close relative who is ill.  It is hard to deal with other things in one’s life when someone you know and love dearly is physically suffering. A close friend is sharing a similar issue.  In many respects, we are holding one another up, but I also have my family, including my wholly supportive husband, for whom I am ever grateful.

Thankfully, toward the end of the week, things began to turn around for me in surprising ways, and in terms of school,  yesterday, I completed the last of my assignments for the week and was able to actually take a nap for the first time in months and months.    I.  was.  exhausted!  I also went to bed early last night and awoke this morning, ready to tackle the world, feeling stronger and more joyful than I have felt in ages, very thankful for my supportive family and friends, all of us being more keenly aware of things that none of us had fully realized before….and I apologize for sounding like one of those Facebook people that write cryptic messages that beg for more explanation.  I simply refuse to make it public.

This week’s mountain of school work looks equally as challenging as last.  However, as I chisel my way through each obstacle, one rock at a time, I find myself gaining more and more inner strength and determination.  More than ever, I am beginning to realize that this education is not only imparting new information and skills.  It is also changing my brain as I go through the process. The process itself, in fact, is the most beneficial aspect.

I am learning an economy of order that I have never experienced before.  I find it easier to sort through information and to hone in on exactly what I need, not just in school, but in my personal life as well.  My focus is sharper.  I am gaining self confidence in all areas of life as I face difficulties that just aren’t that difficult any longer.  My problem solving skills are better. I am becoming amazingly organized.  I am thinking more clearly, putting up with less B.S.  I am moving forward with inner strength summoned up from a Source that makes me feel strong and mighty.

I just read over my assignments.  I have to write an 8 page review of empirical literature about Individualism and Collectivism theories.  I have to learn about Type I. and Type II. errors in research design using inferential statistics and I have to analyze a second set of data using a software with which I am not yet familiar.  This time 6 months ago, I would have looked at these assignments and probably cried.  Today, I’m thinking, “I’ve got this.  I can do this.”  because I know I can. I do not yet have any knowledge of how to tackle these assignments, but I am confident that I now possess the problem solving skills that will allow me to arrive at the solutions.  By this time next week, I will have completed every assignment, and I will know more than I know right now.  This much I do know.

So….off I go….but first, it is time for a walk with my puppy, and a hot cup of coffee, and a smile as I feel gratitude for every day that I can walk this earth, love and be loved in return. I am a lucky woman.

 

 

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