My friend, Tom, recently said, “When your life falls apart, it’s an ideal time to put the pieces back in a different order,” which is true…but what about when your life isn’t falling apart? Is it still ok to reassess and do things differently? My life is not falling apart in the least. Negative aspects of it are falling away…and that part is good. No one can deny that I am certainly doing a good deal of rearranging. I should have done this years ago.
I look at it like sorting socks or organizing a kitchen drawer. I am rearranging things as I go….my priorities, my habits, my choices and making things smoother and more functional than they have been in 40-something years. I am accepting what is and am continually taking inventory, letting go of that which does not serve my higher purpose, and moving forward. That is what I have done in a big way this week. I have taken huge steps emotionally, legally, familial-y, and am steaming forward on the path I have forged for myself and those whom I truly love.
A week or two ago, I posted an amazing quote by Meryl Streep that characterizes exactly how I feel . It remarkably seemed to fall out of the sky for me the day I needed it most, and it keeps cropping up, even as I go through research papers to complete this week’s school assignments. It’s almost as though God or the universe is sending it to me, over and again. Today, it means more to me than ever before…so I am going to post it again…because this is really how I feel. I have never been as resolved as I am today, and I have never been stronger. I know I’m right about this, and I will never again, walk the painful path of eggshells that I used to be on, not ever.
I will never deprive my loving daughter, Sarah and her daughter, Ingrid another ounce of my energy that used to be directed toward ungrateful, manipulative people. My granddaughter, Maya, will have a better, stronger grandmother and will know my devotion in new ways and my husband will have a wife that is more determined than ever to make our remaining years together everything good they can possibly be. I am strong in my friendships, (one more than others) in my school work and on the path to a fantastic adventure.
“I no longer have patience for certain things, not because I’ve become arrogant, but simply because I reached a point in my life where I do not want to waste more time with what displeases me or hurts me. I have no patience for cynicism, excessive criticism and demands of any nature. I lost the will to please those who do not like me, to show love toward those who do not love me and to smile at those who do not want to smile at me. I no longer spend a single minute on those who lie or want to manipulate. I decided not to coexist anymore with pretense, hypocrisy, dishonesty and cheap praise. I do not tolerate selective erudition nor academic arrogance. I do not adjust either to popular gossiping. I hate conflict and comparisons. I believe in a world of opposites and that’s why I avoid people with rigid and inflexible personalities. In friendship I dislike the lack of loyalty and betrayal. I do not get along with those who do not know how to give a compliment or a word of encouragement. Exaggerations bore me and I have difficulty accepting those who do not like animals. And on top of everything I have no patience for anyone who does not deserve my patience.” _ Meryl Streep