After midnight….

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When the clock strikes 12 tonight, I will be entering a new decade.  Gifts began arriving two days ago.   Tonight, I am thinking of my mother, in labor, all those years ago.  She is a very sweet woman.  She always said it was a difficult labor, however, and  that the nurses popped popcorn in the lounge, and that she hated the smell of that.  I long to be with Mom tonight, miles and miles away from me, and Dad, too.  I wish I could celebrate this birthday with them.  I almost got to do it, but my school work prevented that.

I have plans for breakfast with a friend in the morning, then dinner with my daughter later and a “big surprise” after that….whatever that means, and my husband promises we will have yet another surprise when he returns on the 22nd, and another is winging its way to me as I write this.   Truth be told, I don’t feel much like celebrating.  I have a lot of work to do, both for grad school and for my job.  Birthdays are just another day of the week for me now.  The celebrations will be more for those people that love me, rather than for just me.  Next year, I am going to book a reservation at a yoga retreat.  I have grown to love my solitude.  The silence.  I like being alone.   I am happy.

Happy birthday to me.

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