Daily Archives: November 18, 2012

“I was so much older then….”

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I used to look ahead in time to what I thought it would feel like to be in my 60’s, and would feel nothing but dread.  Now, when I think about those future years when I reach 60 and beyond, I look forward to it. I have found that, for me, life gets better and better as I age.  With each year, I am wiser and happier. More settled within myself.

I have a keener sense of what my boundaries and limitations are, but on the other hand, I have lost the insecurities about things that I used to be afraid to try.  I am more firmly rooted in my politics now,  and feel secure and comforted by the knowledge that they are right for me and for my life.

My creative spirit has emerged in a much more profound and confident way, and I’m feeling like the sky is the limit. I’m taking voice lessons and guitar lessons. New ideas flood my brain every day. I’m making mosaics again. Painting.

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I fill up sketch-pad-after-sketch pad,  computer page – after-page working on my novel…I am making art again.  I am writing.  I am laughing and feeling freedom and happiness that I have not felt in years.  Life is good, my friends.  It is good.  This is, in fact, one of the BEST times of my life!

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I’ve been reading like a fiend, of late….virtually everything I can get my hands on.  I go through phases like this.  Michael Chabon is a favorite author right now.  I’m also reading Carole King’s memoir, or rather, listening to the audio book, because I received it as a birthday gift.    I tend to have a book or literary or political  magazine going in every room.  I’ll pick one up and read a chapter or article, put it down, do something, go to another room, read some more.  I’m reading Bindman’s book on Blake as an Artist.  I’m reading Barbara Kingslover, Arundhati Roy…on and on, savoring each sentence, loving every word.

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I’m trying to expand my musical tastes, listening to more world music, jazz, new music…experimental, electronic…all kinds of things.  I am reacquainting myself with the music of my youth, and re-exploring it from an adult perspective.  It’s great to have musician friends to talk to regularly.

Of course, I’m still working, too, but I have become much more efficient, so I am not as much a slave to it.  I have more free time.  Career wise, I am tapering off into a whole new area that I will write about at a future date.  Everything is good.

All this, simply to say, when the day comes and I turn 60….or 64….I’m not going to look at it as a bad thing.  I’ll still be singing.  I’ll still be dancing.  I’ll still be me.